The prospect of failure is scary. Many of us are afraid that failure will send us into a downward spiral that we’ll never come out of. We’re worried that we’ll disappoint and embarrass our family, friends, and others around us. And that’ll be it – we’re done, never to show our face in public again.
The fear of failure comes up quite often when I work with students as an Advancement Coach & Strategist. Here are just a few of the questions they ask me (and themselves):
- What if I can’t handle the course load?
- What if a subject is too complicated?
- What if my grades aren’t up to what’s expected of me?
- What if I don’t get accepted into any of the universities I apply to?
- Will I be able to handle work and studies at the same time?
Sometimes, the fear is so intense that they begin to question whether they should even try at all.
Take it from someone who has tried and failed many times: letting fear overcome you will prevent you from living your most amazing life. You’re not the first person to let fear lead to self-doubt, and you certainly won’t be last.
The trick is to learn the truth about failure, which allows you to embrace it as a part of the incredible journey ahead of you.
The truth about failure
“If you have never failed at anything, then you haven’t been trying hard enough.” – Margaret Heffernan, entrepreneur, CEO, writer, and keynote speaker.
I love this quote because it completely encapsulates what I have come to believe about failure. People who try new and creative things will likely fail at something along the way. In that sense, failure is good – it means using what we’ve learned from failing to pick ourselves up and keep going.
The most successful people in the world have failed not once, not twice, but countless times. What made them successful was keeping failure in perspective and never giving up. Failure teaches us, guides us, and provides opportunities for learning. It also allows us to further invest in ourselves, pushing us forward with more profound wisdom, experience, and knowledge.
The truth about failure isn’t that we fail while trying but that we only truly fail when we settle, stay stuck, and stop trying. I know how hardworking and ambitious you are. Don’t quit – you’re not at the end of your incredible journey just yet.
How to reframe failure
My personal journey through my life, education, and career has taught me much about the fear of failure. I used what I learned to overcome fear, reframe failure, and preserve with more strength, determination, and preparation than before. Learn more about my journey here.
Here are three main lessons I gleaned from failing:
- I learned not to be afraid of failure anymore. In fact, I’m very comfortable with it. Each failure brings me one step closer to succeeding because I’ll be able to make more informed decisions in the future. In other words, failure is a tool I use to reach my goals.
- I stopped believing that failure is real and started understanding it as a concept people use to define outcomes. When you look at failure as what it truly is – an opportunity to help you reach your goals – it’s easier to embrace and accept.
- I realized that fear of failure cannot hold us back. Fear of failure can be paralyzing, but what’s worse is letting that fear infiltrate our decision-making. For example, if you allow that fear to overcome you, you might not apply for that university you’ve always dreamed of attending. You’re actually doing more harm to yourself by not trying at all.
These three lessons allowed me to reframe failure as an indicator that challenges us to reflect on what happened and try a different approach to get where we want to be. Reframing failure this way is the best approach to conquering fear and using it to help push you forward.
And what happens if you do fail? You wake up the next day and life goes on. It’s not all over. You course correct and let the failure help you figure out what works and what doesn’t.
You’re resilient, thoughtful, mindful, and ready to try again using another system or strategy. Trust me – you’ve got this!
Learn more about reframing failure on my podcast
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